Monday, May 31, 2004

I Believe In a Thing Called Love!

It's official! I'm going to go see The Darkness! They are coming here at the end of June. They are only THE COOLEST band of the moment. They are kings of glam rock revival. Not only is it fun to watch them, their music also rocks! They play fast pase songs with arena guitar licks and lyrics about sex, drugs and rock and roll They even have a song titled "Growing On Me" which on the first few listens by the lyrics would make you think it's about a guy falling for a girl ("i can't get rid of you, I just don't know what to do"), but in fact it's about genital warts! Makes you think twice when you hear stuff like "Sleeping in an empty bed, can't get you OFF my head". It's hilarious! Plus who else can take a very depressing song like Street Spirit by Radiohead and make it sound like something from Queen? For that, The Darkness, Bono salutes you!

Sunday, May 30, 2004

One Sec I Just Need to Pee

I just don't get it but what is up with woman and them having to announce when they have to go to the bathroom. Like when a guy has to go to take a piss he'll just say something like "I'll be right back" or "I just have to go to the bathroom, give me a sec". A girl on the other hand will say something like "I'm feeling really bloated! I really have to pee!". At least a guy doesn't announce what he's actually doing because there are other reasons why one would need to go to the bathroom, for instance, to wash their hands or something. I mean, do girls want to hear what we have to do in the bathroom? "I'll be right back, I'm going to go take a dump and read the sport section while I'm at it, just give me about 10, 15 minutes?" or "I really need to go jerk off while I fantasize about you naked, be right back". I don't know, I just think sometimes hearing "I need to pee" can knock me off guard. Well maybe it's just me.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Girls of the internet

Besides porn, the internet seems to be a haven for dating services. I'll admit, due to being shy and my bad luck with girls (see last post), I've put my picture on a few sites -,, Yahoo Personals, Okay Amigo and my 'favorite' one JDATE. The last one is a jewish dating service, so I can meets JAPS - Jewish American PrincesseS, not Japanese people. The stereotype for jewish girls is that they are daughters of rich jews such as doctors or lawyers and are super stuck up and only care about themselves. Maybe this explains why I havn't tried dating any jewish girls yet. But thanfully it's only a stereotype because I plan on marrying a jewish girl. I didn't join any of the sites in hopes of finding my one true love or anything, it was more on a whim of being bored and it is a way to meet new people although I do admit it is kind of sketch. I have met a few people online but no one in person. Actually back in high school I met one in person and it was horrible. This girl was short, quite large (which is still okay) but had a mustache and side burns (swing and a miss). I have about 3 - 4 people on my MSN list that I chat to once in a while but have never met in person. Some of them are pretty cool but there is a limit to how close I will become to these people. Because i have my profile on those sites, I get these e-mails from them with potential 'matches'. Reading what people write can be hilarious at times. All that girls seem to be looking for are guys that are good looking, outgoing, have a great sense of humor and like going out and having fun. And it's not like 1 or 2 people just write that - almost every single girl on theose websites are looking for just those characteristics. Well if that's all they want, why isn't there a line up of girls waiting to go on dates with me?!?!I should be a pimp daddy The greatest joy I get from these sites is that to view someones profile, it's free but in order to contact another member, you have to pay. However, some girls hide in their profile an e-mail address on how to contact them. So it's like a game trying to decypher the hidden message that put and if I get a reply message from them it means I won! I have yet to meet someone who's normal and really exciting this way but you never know it could happen. In any case I know I'm bound to meet someone this summer. This is the summer of BUDMAN!

Tom Arnold is my Idol!

I just got home from watching one of the best movies this summer, and by best, I mean worst and by this summer, I mean ever. The movie was Soul Plane. It has an all star cast: Snoop Doggy Dog, Method Man and, wait for it... TOM ARNOLD! Talk about Blacksploitation! I really don't get it. Instead of it being white people making fun of black people stereotype, it's black people making fun of black people stereotype. Well in the end I guess everyone gets paid. So the premise of this movie (and believe me I'm not spoiling anything), is this guy goes on a plane and everyone is white and it looks like he's getting treated poorly for being black. Then he has to go take a dump and while in the bathroom gets stuck on the toilet. In an attempt to get out, the luggage capartment openeds and his dog flies out and dies. He then sues the airlines, gets a million dollars and decides to start his own airlines. He calls it NWA and then its all corby jokes like they are located at gate Malcolm X and their flrght 069. The plane has First class, middle class and lower class. First class being all decked out in leather couches and tables, middle class looking like a business room and lower class having busted tv's, lockers for luggage cabinets and bus station poles in the back. There's a guy who works in the bathroom and did I mention the club upstairs? The whole movie is just over an hour. What I just described happens in the first 30 minutes followed by about 25 minutes of stuff going on before the plane even leaves the ground. Then they get off the ground and 15-20 minutes later the captain (Snoop Dog) dies. Then they spend the last 20 minutes trying to land the plane. It has some funny moments but most of it is corny. If you like sex jokes and chessy gags, this is your movie. If you want to spend your 13$ on something worthwile, go see Shrek 2.

Monday, May 24, 2004

Outgoing on the outside but shy on the inside

It's Victoria Day weekend and what better way to celebrate than to go out drinking. Last night for an hour was open bar at Cheers downtown. I went with Glen and afterwards we ended up at Biftek (the bar, not the restaurant) where I met up with Greg and my buddy Mike. All in all I had a good time. However, while I was there, I bumped into a girl I have known for a while now. I don't know her well but I will admit I think she's cute. I first met her my first year at McGill, we were in the same frosh group. Since then I've seen her around at various parties and events around school. She even showed some interest in me recently when I found out that she tried buying me at a bachelor auction. I volunteered to sell my body to raise money for the Kidney Foundation. A few friends of mine (all girls) pooled together their money to buy me and someone kept competing against them until they bid for too much (50$) and the mystery person backed down. At first my friends were all happy until they realized that they ruined a chance of me going on a real date (they all have boyfriends). I later found out that the mystery person was her.However, I didn't make a move then (she showed herself and I was like "Wow you're the one who was bidding against my friends?!? We then talked for about a minute until she said "I'm going to go over there now...") and I didn't try anything last night. I was pretty smooth at the beginning since I was walking outside of the bar to be able ot hear my cell phone better and on the way out I noticed her, tapped her, she got all excited and said hi and gave me a hug to which I smoothely said "hold that thought" and walke dout for a few minutes to take the call. But after my phone call, she was busy with her friends so I didn't go up and talk to her. So being shy I thought I'd wait, but then she left with her friends ("I told myself I'll go a little later, I'll go a little later, but when I got there, they said he had already left, and when I asked if he'd come back, they said probably not..." -Homer J. Simpson).

Just a little background on myself but my luck with girls hasn't been that great since high school but has been getting better lately. I had a few crushes in high school but nothing ever surfaced from them. Too many stories to post but here are a few. In grade 8 I went to the school dance and after dancing alone for while, a girl came up to me, but instead of asking me to dance, she slapped me and threatened to kill me if she ever saw me again. Then in grade 10 I learnt it's not a good idea to write in someone's yearbook that you have a crush on them, because that girl went psycho after she read the note I wrote in her book. I thought I'd have better luck in cegep, but no dice. I had a thing for a girl, called her up, asked her out and she freaked out on the phone and said "I need to go sleep now..." and hung up. The next day I found out a friend of mine also called her up and asked her out 2 hours before I did. Don't worry though, university had been a bit better. I've met tons of people and even a few really nice girls. I still didn't have the guts to do anything but I'm slowly breaking out of my shell. This past year really showed it. I'm not afraid to admit that it was this year that I had my first kiss because the story behind it is really funny. During frosh I met a girl who I thought was really cool and on the last night of frosh she admitted to me that she thought I was cute. Eventually I ended up at her apartment and we sat down on the couch. We talked for a bit (note: we were both drunk and tired) and then I mentioned something about not having ever been kissed. She then replied "do you want your first kiss now?". We then kissed and then killed any Kodak moment we had by saying "Wow! That tasted like jelly fish!", not that I would know what jelly fish tastes like...but I that's what I said. Then I started to fall asleep on the couch but I kept trying to keep my eyes open and talk. All I remember saying while trying to keep my eyes open was something like "blah blah blah porno" and she replied "yeah I totally know what you mean". To this day I don't even know what I meant. Nothing ended up happening and I never heard from her again but it was probably for the best because the next morning after breakfast she got a call and let the machine take it. Some guy said "Hey it's me call me back" and she then tells me "oh yeah, I really should break up with him".

Well to further the trend, I now have an apartment so now I can get laid! No! So I can go out more often and meet people instead of leave at 11:00pm when the parties usually start. I have a feeling I'm really going to enjoy myself this summer, and if I meet someone I'll just look at it as a bonus. You know what? I think I'm going to put some effort into finding out that girl's phone number and give her a call. What's the worst that can happen?

Saturday, May 22, 2004

BYOBB - Bring Your Own Beer for Budman

Last night I threw a party at the apartment. I didn't really want to but some friends at work were bugging me to do so. Then when I sent off an e-mail they were all "oh we were just kidding about that". Well, they all got their wish, and it was the coolest party ever in the history of parties! (or at least of parties thrown by me, being my second only). I decorated the apartment a little with red streamers. 20 people showed up and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. It was mostly people from McGill Improv and a few people from work and chemistry. There was a conference that Marianna went to the day before and brought 2 girls from some university in Boston called TUFTS, I think, it took the one I was talking to a long time to get that into my head. She seemed really cool but couldn't believe that I didn't know that California is located at the west coast of the United States. I'm really bad at geography. I don't even know canadian geography well, I always fell aslep in that class during high school. At 1:30am everyone left and a few of us got to Peel Pub. By this time I was pretty loaded. I don't drink much but I had about 3 nice glasses of gin and tonic. I had less than him, but Glen and I shared a 20 oz. bottle of gin and we finished it before hitting the bar. All I remember about Peel Pub was we ordered a giant pitcher of beer, I sang a lot to the songs, Greg threw some glasses at the concrete walls because we were given too many, and one of the girls with us got pissed because Greg spilled beer on her by accident (or on purpose, I'll never know). When I got back to the apartment, I just jumped into bed and slept in until 1:30pm. I didn't feel sick when I woke up, no hangover, but I could ahve sworn I still felt drunk but that made no sense. The apartment wasn't that messy but it still took me 2 hours to clean up. Ah, the downfalls of having a party with no one crashing over. Well since I plan on having a party every week (I'm sure Andrew won't mind), I left all the decorations up and the fridge is still full with beer. Hoozah!

This one's for Alex Wlasenko

I've been told that when I go out to parties and events, after having a few drinks, I tend to put on the same face when ever a picture is taken. Yes, I tend to open my mouth. I never realized I did it so much until Alex mentioned that he checked out my photo album and noticed that's what I do in every picture. Turns out he's right (click on next to see all the pics).

McGill Improv and On The Spot - Forces Unite!

I have been performing improv with the McGill Improv club for about 2 years now. Not only are the members talented and funny but they are great people to hang out with outside of improv. We meet once a week for a 2 hour workshop (6:30pm lobby of the Shatner building on thursdays), but we also play ultimate frisbee together and throw parties. This past tuesday, however, we got the honor to open up for one of the two professional improv troupes, On The Spot, which actually spawned from the McGill Improv back in the day (about 14 years ago) under another name. The other professional troupe is Without Annette, which also spawned from McGill Improv but more recently (about 6 years ago). We had a 20 minute set and were only 4 performers, I being one of them, along with Alice, Marianna and Maryam. Yes, all women! We ended up doing a great set and On The Spot were hilarious. After the show, a few of us decided to go to Ben and Jerry's. While we were there, this bum showed up, started to interupt Alice's conversation and then told Bryan that he shouldn't touch with his 'willy' in public, referring to Bryan having a hand in his pocket. Then when we all left and I walked in one direction with Bryan, the same guy jumped at me and pointed a banana like it was a gun and said "give me all your money, hahaha!" and walked away talking to himself. That's wen I realized I had the honor of bumping into the famous bum with the banana gun (as mentioned in the Montreal Mirror) So I got to meet a famous improv troupe and a famous bum in one day, what are the odds?

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Now thats how you make a drink!

So after the gym, my buddy Glen and I decided to check out this Flair competition at Cheers (the one downtown). Flair, not to be confused with flare or Rick Flair, involves making drinks while juggling the bottles and doing tricks with them. You may remember this as seen in the movie Cocktail staring Tom Cruise, or not. It was actually a lot of fun to watch. A few guys did some crazy tricks. One guy, however, was said to have been practicing for 8 years but he dropped a bottle before he even started. He wasn't that great in the end. Another guy was juggling the mixing cups so fast, he accidently let one slip and it went flying staight towards a competitors head. After about 5 guys, it all started to look the same so we left. All in all it was a good night.

Pumping Iron

I decided recently to join the McGill gym and work out. I don't really know why. I don't really expect to get all buffed up or anything but I could use to gain a few pounds. Right now I'm about 135 pounds soaking wet. You may be suprised but this isn't the first time I've joined a gym. I used to go during my years at Vanier College (my CEGEP) and actually gained 10 pounds!...which I lost immediately once I stopped going anymore. I've been skinny all my life but that didn't stop me from joining the wrestling team at my high school during grade 7. I went to 2 matches and I never got to wrestle. I won both matches by default because no one else was in my weight class of 70 pounds. Hooray! I never wrestled since.

Saturday, May 15, 2004

All Grown Up

So yesturday I decided to buy some things for the appartment. All I had was a fridge full of beer and it was time to get some food. So I walked to the local Provigo and walked up and down the aisles. It took me a bloody hour just to buy a few things and cost $63!!! All I bought was some apples, pizza pockets, an over pizza, paper towels, juise, milk, cereal, and a few snacks. Oh and of course, Kraft Dinner! Actually I bought some cheap immitation because it was less expensive. On the way to the apartment, I decided to take the bus instead of walk. I sat down on the bench and when the bus was coming, started to grab the bags but I wasn't fast enough and the bus just drove by. I then ran down the street with 8 bags of groceries in my hands and my bus pass in my mouth. Then, once on the bus, I rang the bell when we just left the stop on located at the corner of the street previous to the on e the appartment is on. Well, it turns out that the next stop is actually 3 blocks past where I wanted to go to, so that sucked ass and I walked back. The minute I got into the place, I threw everything into the fridge and crashed on the couch. Later that night when I was hungry, I made some of that "Kraft Dinner". The box says it should take 9 minutes. I think it took me 90 minutes. But now I'm one step closer to becoming a master chef.

Can Never Forget The 80's

Thursday night I went out to the Jupiter Room. It's a bar located on St. Laurent above Pine and on thursdays they play 80's music. I suprisingly knew a lot of people there. I went with a few of my improv friends (in ode to the eighties theme, we went as the Collar Brothers) and met up with my buddy Norm and some of his friends. I even bumped into this grad student I knew from school who was there with his mom... The atmosphere was really nice, though, and I had an aweseome time. I can't wait to go there on a friday to chekc out their 90's night. Yes, the 90's have already become a catagory in themselves. Soon we'll have a music genre for only the year 2000.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Budman's Shag Pad

Currently I live at home with my parents. However, my friend Andrew from McGill Improv gave me the keys to his apartment for the summer! I immediately saw it as a way to be able to stay out later and party more often then I do now since I have to leave downtown at around 11:30pm in order to make I home since I live in the West Island (the middle of nowhere). My friends on the other hand see it as an opportunity for me to pick up chicks. Who knows what crazy adventures will ensue now that I have a temporary apartment.

Undergrad Finito

Yup, after four years of studying chemistry I can finally become a chemist , although it hasn't always been an easy journey. By second year I had no choice but to take five science courses at once. I went crazy. I was so overwhelmed by work that I ended up failing quantum mechanics. However, I accepted my failure, redid the course and got an A! (In your FACE Dr. Sanctuary!!!) I then decided to stay an extra year at school and do a research project. By doing so, not ony did it increase my chances of getting into grad school, but I would no longer be a puny majors student but a super awesome honours student. This change came with a price. I didn't know what type of chemistry I wanted to focus on, so I blindly chose organic chem. My research project started off kind of rocky. I became infected with senioritis, concentrated more on my other classes and even women. Don't get me wrong, I did go into the lab, but I even admit to not going in enough to make a substancial effect on the progress of the project. My supervisor was not happy and gave me a much deserved kick in the ass. During winter semester I wised up and started to work really hard. Even with all my efforts to show my supervisor I could be a hard working student she still percieved me as an idiot, but I still passed and thats all that counts.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Summer Begins

It's May and SUMMER IS HERE! This summer has great potential to be different than any other summer. Here are a few reasons why:

1. I finished my undergrad
2. My friend gave me a key to his way cool apartment
3. I have a chill job
4. My birthday is in the summer
5. Because I said so

So I decided I will go into more detail about the reasons later.

Monday, May 10, 2004

My Very First Posting

So after finding out that everyone has a blog (even cartoon characters), I decided to start my own weblog. Okay, Okay! The REAL reason is because I want to be just like my buddy Glen Bremner. He has a blog so naturally I had to have a blog as well. I decided that I like to talk a lot and what better way to express myself then to total strangers on the internet! I plan on posting stories and thoughts that I have on my mind. Unlike most people, my stories usually involve breaking something or someone getting hurt, so the enjoyment never ends!
I'm getting really tired and have to get up early for work, so since I'm running out of ideas I'll end my FIRST POSTING EVER with this: